It's Natural
by Granger21
Summary: Harry and Severus reach a new "first" in their relationship. HP/SS established.


A/N So, I've decided to try an write something funny and light after two darker fics! Hope you enjoy. And remember, good readers, review!

**It's Natural**

Harry woke up to a normal day with his lover of seven months, Severus, showering in the bathroom adjacent to their bedroom. He was twenty-two now, and Severus was fourty-one, but that did not really bother him, for two reasons One, wizards live quite a long time, and two, Harry needed someone older, someone who was dark as he was, someone who had fought in the war and understood that Harry could never be a child, even if he sometimes acted childish.

Harry stretched out in the bed, trying to keep the warmth that was created in the bed. As he heard the shower shut off, he decided to pretend to sleep, just to see what Severus did in the morning after he got out of the shower. Normally, Harry joined Severus in the shower and then Severus left to go get dressed while Harry completed his morning routine, or Harry was asleep while Severus prepared for the day and met him in the sitting room after Harry had gotten ready as well. This was a new experience, and Harry truly wondered what Severus did in the morning.

Severus stepped out of the bathroom in his green ultra plush towel. Harry giggled inwardly at the towel, as he did every time he saw it. Who would have thought that the Dungeon Master would have wanted Ultra Plush towels? When asked, Severus only said that it was necessary due to the coldness of the dungeon, but Harry swore that he had seen Severus caress them on more than one occasion.

Severus came by the bed and kissed Harry's forehead, while Harry struggled not to laugh or open his eyes, he hoped in earnest that Severus didn't notice Harry's state of alertness. Thankfully, he didn't, and he went to the dark cherry dresser to pull out his black underwear, white undershirt, and white tube socks. The socks were another thing that Harry could not fathom. It was just so, Muggle…and _normal_.

After that, Severus opened the closet door and reached in, as he lent forward and the most glorious thing happened, according to Harry, that is. Severus Tobias Snape farted. It wasn't so much a fart as it was a toot. Harry's line of thinking was that a fart was loud and "wet" sounding, while a toot was little, quick, sounded muffled and "dry" sounding. Therefore, what Severus had done in the past two seconds was declared a "toot" and a defining moment in history. It was also the point in which Harry exploded with laughter on the bed, well, more like uncontrollable giggling.

Severus whipped his head around to stare at his "sleeping" lover, with his arm still stretched out into the closet. Slowly, and deliberately, he turned his entire body to face the giggling bed mate, while his face started to tinge pink with embarrassment.

"Were you awake this whole time?" Severus asked, trying to force himself to stop blushing and sound menacing, in tube socks.

"T-t-t-oot!" Harry gasped out between his giggles that were still going strong, much to Severus's displeasure. Severus couldn't respond, he didn't know how to, neither of them had come to this first in their relationship, hell, he never "tooted", as Harry put it, infront of anyone before that he could actually remember.

Finally, after about two minutes, Harry's giggles died down and he felt the ache in his abdomen that signaled a hearty bout of laughing. Harry looked up to see Severus fully dressed, in black slacks and a dark green button-up shirt (he did have color in his wardrobe, but he only wore colors in the summer). Severus had started to silently fume, having no other way to deal with the embarrassment, he chose the emotion of anger to help hide his insecurities from Harry, and Harry could definitely see the anger boiling.

"Severus! Love, don't worry," he said trying to placate his lover, "it's natural! Everyone does it!"

"If it's so 'natural', then why are you laughing?" Severus bit, while glaring at Harry, but did not give him time to answer as he left the room. Harry, quickly called to Severus in an attempt to get him to stop, but to no avail. Instead, Harry leapt from the bed and hurried to get dressed and follow after Severus, since he knew Severus was going to the Great Hall, being as most teachers had arrived last night a week before the start of term, and _apparently_ it's not 'polite' to run out of their quarters with only his boxers on. He still remembered that conversation, and didn't want to repeat that with the headmaster, again.

"Severus!" Harry called to the empty hallway. When he received no answer, he started jogging his way up to the Great Hall. As he entered the Hall he noticed Severus sitting at the table, drinking his tea, plate half empty, reading the Prophet, and looking only a bit miffed. Harry on the other hand, looked disheveled, and a bit flushed from the jog to the Great Hall.

"Damn it, Severus, how the _hell _are you so fast?" Harry glared. Severus didn't comment, using he new technique of ignoring Harry. It made him feel better as it bugged the hell out of Harry. The rest of the staff just ignored them as their little "spats", as Minerva called them, were quite frequent. Well, nearly all the staff ignored them, the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, a former Hufflepuff, gaped openly. Apparently, he had Severus for a teacher and had not quite recovered from it yet.

"Severus! Why did you run out? Seriously! Everyone does it! Hell, even Minerva does!" Harry exclaimed, and then started giggling, again. Severus, on the other hand, winced. Although, he, too, thought that it would be amusing if Minerva had 'broke wind'.

"Harry, dear, what do I do?" Minerva inquired, her curiosity was piqued, and well, she was a cat. Harry bent down and whispered in her ear, causing her to blush violently, giggle nervously, and excuse herself from the table, declaring some paperwork to be very urgent.

"Damn it, Harry! Do you always have to tell everyone, everything!" Severus said quite acidly. He got up, and swept out of the Hall, with Harry following and shouting after him.

At the table, the DADA teacher looked at Professor Lovegood, who had recently taken over for Trelawney, and asked, "Does that happen a lot?"

"Only when there is a particularly high concentration of Wibbles." The poor Defense teacher was still confused.

Down in the dungeons, Harry was sitting at a table fuming. He could not understand Severus's anger. Presently, Severus had locked himself in his lab and would not come out.

Harry, being moody, was staring at the door, hoping to cause it to open through his angry stares. The door was not shaken, and stayed where it was, locked. After about thirty seconds of this, Harry jumped up, smiled, and ran off. He was not seen by anyone for the rest of the day.

Later that night, while Severus was in bed reading a Potions journal, Harry crept into the bedroom and started getting dressed for bed. Or rather, undressed, but Harry wasn't too worried as to what he should actually call it, dressed or undressed, he was on a mission.

"Severus? I need to tell you something," Harry started, looking at Severus. He stood just before the bed, waiting for some acknowledgement. Severus, finally, looked up at him, curious. It was then that Harry scrunched up his face and let out the loudest fart that he could create. Then, he kissed Severus on the forehead, and went to bed.

Severus on the other hand, stared at where Harry had stood, finally he smirked a little, now they were even. Severus felt happy, that is, until an unholy smell reached his nose.

"Oh my gods!" Severus gasped. It was then that Harry rolled over and giggled.

"Now that's what I call natural!" he said, snuggling up and going to bed, for real this time.


End file.
